you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
