I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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