people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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