NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
