I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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