He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
