matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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