so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
