im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
