try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize