Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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