wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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