ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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