I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
