i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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