I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
