i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
