I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
