i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
