If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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