Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
