i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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