i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
