your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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