His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
