I like to think it a success when the cops are called
No subtext here. People are naked.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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