she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
