ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
