we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
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