come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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