isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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