I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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