im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
