i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
