nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
