I smell stomach acid.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I could fuck to npr.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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