How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Even my vagina gasped.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
