Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
