Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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