Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
