So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize