The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
