I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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