it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
