Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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