What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
