Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
