just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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