I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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