Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
