I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize