Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
