this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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