so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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