im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
