After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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