Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
