Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
