I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
