when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
