Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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