I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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