Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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