I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
