so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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