HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
