I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
