It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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