Banned from zoo.
Again?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she told me i tasted like america
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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