it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
