All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize