Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My pussy is not your playground.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
