does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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