I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
